I'm OK...

I was talking with one of my friends at home today and she asked me..Are you OK?
You're posts have seemed a bit down and we were a bit worried about you...

I am ok.

We seem to be more engaged here in our lives than we were in France, part and parcel to the fact that the International school has allowed us a great variety of social contact and consequently feel busier, but the truth of the matter is that though expat life can be truly rewarding and challenging some days can be just plain old tough.

There is something sustaining about being in a community of people who truly know you, whom you have and will continue to have history with. There is something stabilising about having friends and family who reflect back to you the life you have shared represented by the fabric of your relationships.

However at the end of the day in most ways our life is pretty much the same as it would be if we were living at home in Canada. The reality is that no matter how cool what you are doing is (or not)...some days are great, and some are not. Here or there at the end of the day there is really not much difference...life can suck or it can be great...

The challenge as an expat is not to blame the ups and downs on the fact that the life we are living is different that the one we would be living at home. Sometimes not so easy as "Home" is always a bit larger (greener?) than life...from over here...and I suppose the reverse might hold true too...

For me it sums itself up in one big lesson about the grass being never really being greener, though it may appear that way, that every day and every moment have to count, that life is not a dress rehearsal, that the best life to live is right now, this very minute....

*Phew*...that is alot to live up to...

I think it is realistic to say that all lives are made of of some good some bad and a little indifferent, and I think I am at a point in life with our upcoming anniversary, the age and stage of our children and my suddenly feeling a bit OLD *shudder* not only am I going through a bit of a personal change, my focus is moving away a bit from having really small children. Finally (or so soon?) I am able to take a bit of a breath and think of myself outside of the 2 foot ring of proximity to my children. I feel like I don't want to put up with any crap, not only from myself but from anyone else, and not like there are mountains of it from any particular direction, just well....you know.

I am taking stock, reflecting on what is working for me in my life and what I would like to see differently...a little life housecleaning.

A good thing...no?
Stay tuned...


sarah said...

A very good thing.

You guys have such as great approach and outlook on life, especially an expat life. And I so hear you on the grass isn't always greener thing. You really just have make the most of where you are, what you have, and like you said, enjoy the moments. It's easy to lose track of that, I know. I have to remind myself to see the larger picture all the time and not stress over the small stuff. But I've always thought you do a great job of that.

Gald to hear you're ok.

Beth said...

A good thing? Yes. Definitely.

May your "housecleaning" go well.

diva eva said...

hey friend,
missing you. Tried to email you, are you at the same address?
would love to catch up. Can you believe it's almost a year ago that I came to visit?
Time for another!

Misspudding said...

I have a couple of pretty good friends living in Hannover (did I spell that right?). They lived in a Germany a few years ago but came back to the states for a while and have now gone back over for the husband's work. They love it over there but, lately, maybe because it's the holidays, they've been very needy. It's not that they're depressed, just that they're looking for some hint of their past and family life, as their entire family is in the U.S. They've been, if you will, very introspective lately.

It's understandable that you are taking stock, trying to figure things out about who and what you are, and perhaps, where you want to go with your life, especially now that you're older and you're a role model. It really makes you think, doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

Let me know how you do regarding 'not taking crap from yourself or anyone else' I need to learn the art of 'not taking crap'

Nomad said...

Hey Sarah!!
Thanks and ditto your way girl!

Thanks Beth... you too!

Hey DE yes I am still at the same address, come any time!! I'd love to see you!

MP, do your friends have kids and do they live downtown? (amazing coincidence!!!)

Hi there...maybe I need a few lessons in takin a little MORE cr*p... plus kooky I forgot to tell you.. get this...your anniversay falls on my Bday an your hub's Bday falls on our anniversary...!!


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Paris, France
A Canadian expatriate living and exploring first France now Germany, then BACK to FRANCE (!!!) with her family; former fashion designer, turned unexpected UNLIKELY NOMAD, raising two children, writing, photographing, painting, playing piano (who knew!!) and blogging - and now... full time student at ART SCHOOL!! (I MUST be crazy!!)