Santa's Sex Toy

So why exactly is it that “Santa” always seems to forget Mommy’s stocking every year…??


Reminds me of a story of a co-worker of mine. We’ll call my friend Kirsty. Kirsty was young and gorgeous and with her short blonde Annie Lennox do, tight little Gucci clad body she every girl's lesson in Divadom (read Inner Diva Below). She had a killer job as a buyer for one of our most exclusive fashion retailers back home.

She had this thug sort of husband…god only knows how they ended up together, oh yeah, except he had a very cool lemon yellow corvette...which I guess when you are a kid matters. Any way one year after the holidays she was griping to me that for Christmas he had given her a carbon monoxide detector…ONLY a carbon monoxide detector.

“Now,” she mused “if he wanted to get me something electronic he could at least have bought me a sex toy”…(but no that is not where this story is going…)

So…hold on any of you guys who might be reading this…yes a carbon monoxide detector is VERY practial and yes I know it might just SAVE our tender little heinies one of these days, and what with the spirit of Christmas and giving and all that CR*P...


Take it from me or ANY other lady on your Xmas list this year….This is NOT…I repeat NOT a good Xmas gift.

Moral of the story ladies…if you want you stocking filled to the brim and that beautiful diamond thingummy-whatever...

Ya better start dropping hints now!


Trish said...

Diamond thingies! You mean sex toys come with diamonds now?

Sign me up.

But wait...wouldn't that hurt?

Dorky Dad said...

DANGIT! And I thought I was done Christmas shopping.


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A Canadian expatriate living and exploring first France now Germany, then BACK to FRANCE (!!!) with her family; former fashion designer, turned unexpected UNLIKELY NOMAD, raising two children, writing, photographing, painting, playing piano (who knew!!) and blogging - and now... full time student at ART SCHOOL!! (I MUST be crazy!!)